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I’m currently looking for a job, another job. Actively. And from the back of my head I keep hearing my grandma’s (and now my mom’s) voice telling me: “that school of yours did not prepare you for this world”. For any world I’d add. ‘Cos you need to be a lawyer, a doctor, a banker (financial adviser, accountant and so forth), a janitor or a hooker in this world in order to make ends meet. And since I am not any of the above I have to reconsider my options. I am patient, and motivated and I like the whole searching process, but nowadays I find myself embracing the “whole millennial lifestyle” which is waking up whenever my body tells me I had 8 hours in, followed by the morning routine…splash of water on the face, some breakfast and coffee. Then I log in a few good hours of computer work which consists in searching, updating, data entry, typing…blah, blah…all this while I sit in a yoga position in my desk chair, in my pajamas (my home-office attire).

I get easily distracted. Sometimes I find myself joggling between my typing, googling stupid stuff, chatting with my friends on facebook, searching some song on youtube that randomly pop up in my head. Then really late in the afternoon I remember I haven’t had lunch. I take a long lunch break while I watch a short series, and finishing my bottle of water, then I re-heat another cup of coffee and back to the computer. My back (all of it, upper, lower and in between) aches. My right hand fingers are becoming really stiff from the way I type, which is not your typical style of typing. Mine is more of a contortionist kind, with one decorative left hand getting in the way of my right hand in order to type the exact same letters. No one taught me how to use a computer, type or do any internet stuff. Which is why I don’t type very fast, I always have to visually retrieve the keys on the keyboard. I am not very computer savvy, except for finding my way out of trouble from doing computer work, which I now consider experience.

But now getting back to the job-search situation I realize that I have to go through literally hundreds of jobs everyday and see what might be a good match for me. After this step I get the days when I have to go through “reject emails” and their so similar phrasing like: “thank you for applying and the time you put into this but we have decided to continue this process with candidates that are more suitable for the job”….

Well, to be honest, some of the jobs I had the pleasure to apply to have NOTHING to do with what I have studied in school or my experience. Jobs like fund raiser for the local symphony, or financial adviser, or even mortgage specialist are no good match for someone like me, you know, a dreamer, easy going individual.

My parents are eager to find out news about my prospective job and the ways I am building my life in America. But I have to disappoint them week after week. And I know I’d end up saying: “People just don’t like me, mamma.”

November 2, 2016