“Well, I’ve been down so Goddamn long
That it looks like up to me.”
When you can’t sleep at night and you toss in bed and get anxious for no apparent reason, you then start to fear and to crumble into tiny little emotional pieces.
Then starts the sweating and the so-known tachycardia, you fear that the “anxiety hell” is going to break loose and your heart is going to pop out of your chest.
Someone once told me that fear is for faithless people. And I might have become one of those people. I feel warm and then cold and then I start shaking my legs uncontrollably and so on and so forth, as the night unfolds.
I’ve been teaching myself to keep calm, and pray and look up and ask questions and answer to myself in every way I could, in any way that would make me feel better, safer. I felt down, and upset, angry at times, fearful, and the lack of sleep really made me unsociable, bitter and depressed.
After a certain number of sleepless nights, I finally got some rest last night. My heart is still racing. Be safe and everything will be alright I said to myself.
Whenever you can, look up and remember this tiny say:
“Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying.” (Romans 12:12)